Things Diane Keaton Talks About When She Talks About Love
Diane Keaton makes me think of the sugar diorama Easter eggs I used to get as a kid. Sparkly and ruffled with hard chalky frosting on the outside, a secret world of bunnies and chicks hiding inside. But in Keaton’s diorama, the scene is just a bit off-kilter, and there is no such thing as pastel.
I have loved her since seeing her in Annie Hall. I was fourteen when it came out, just on the edge of forming my identity, and her style and quirky, nervous charm made introversion seem chic and bold and gave me a whole new confidence.
When I heard that she would be speaking in Cupertino, essentially my backyard, I could not miss my opportunity and was lucky enough to find someone selling a pair of tickets to the sold-out event.
Keaton walked onto the stage at the Flint Center wearing a signature black turtleneck with long thumb-loop sleeves, black and cream patterned coat dress cinched above the waist with an over-wide belt, chunky, somewhat precarious looking ankle boots, oversized glasses, bowler hat, and an array of black and silver rings on both hands. I was thrilled to see her in person even if my seats were so far back in the auditorium that I had to rely on the big screen monitor to see her facial expressions.
Throughout the evening, she mused on everything from her father’s droopy blue eyes to her love of Pinterest and her Instagram follower lust. Anyone coming to hear her talk about grounded subjects like her career, the adoption of her children, or her reasons for never marrying, may have left a little disappointed. Her topics were more abstract: love, beauty, art, friendship, memory, dreams.
At 73, she seems to be in a reflective mode. More interested in the marrow of her life than the bones of it.
It was exactly what I’d hoped for. I was not able to record, but many things stuck with me. Here are my takeaways:
“One of the most surprising things about aging is the value of friendship.”
“The reality of love never matches the fantasy.”
“It’s easy to listen. It’s hard to reveal.”
“I like women who make wrong right. Like, ‘Oh you shouldn’t wear those shoes. Or that hat. Who cares? I like it.’”
While she’s had many film kisses, some stand out. Jack Nicholson in Something’s Gotta Give. “I kissed him hard. I liked it.” Al Pacino in The Godfather. Warren Beatty in Reds. Her favorite film kiss? Andy Garcia in Book Club. “That worked out well for me,” she said.
Once, when she was struggling on-set to get a scene right with Warren Beatty, she stopped thinking about the scene and instead just thought about love and then saw Warren’s face coming toward her. “That face,” she said. “That face made it easy.”
She talked about her father’s blue eyes, how they reflected his joy when he saw her perform “Mata Hari” in the high school musical where she received her first, and only standing ovation. And how they came to her on a recent trip to the ocean near Pacific Palisades with her beloved dog Emmie. The blue of the water, she recalled, was like her father’s eyes. She wondered if her eyes were the same as his, and was he looking through her to the sea? Did they see it together? “I miss you, Dad,” she said.
“I can’t remember my mother’s eyes, but I can remember her hands.” Cutting and sewing. She and her mother would make clothes together. “What do you want to wear,” her mother would ask, and they’d dream it into reality.
There was a story of her mother earning the title of Mrs. America—an RCA Victor television and a set of Samsonite luggage were among her prizes—and narrowly missing out on becoming Mrs. Los Angeles. Keaton confessed that her 11-year-old self was secretly happy that her mother would not be making promotional appearances. She wanted her mother’s time and, as she guiltily admitted, she wanted the spotlight for herself.
“I’ve often wondered what my mother’s life have been like if she had grown up in the 50s like me, rather than the depression era? If she’d had someone unceasingly supporting her in her dreams the way she supported mine?”
A ridiculous article titled “Top 10 Female Celebrities Who Are Ugly No Matter What Hollywood Says” ranked Keaton number 5, just below Reese Witherspoon and Angelina Jolie. “He [the author] called me ‘old as dirt.’ Well, I am, but you know. I went into the bathroom and looked at myself and just cried and then I thought, ‘Who cares? You are who you are. And if Reese and Angelina aren’t beauty, then I don’t know how anyone can be.’”
“Are you on Pinterest,” she asked the audience of mostly septuagenarians. “I’m obsessed with Pinterest. It’s this huge visual library open 24 hours a day, and for anyone who loves visual imagery like I do, it’s just a feast.” The image depository was the inspiration for her book The House That Pinterest Built.
Diane Keaton wants more Instagram followers. Other stars have far more, and she’s not having it. “So I thought I’d check out some of the people in my age group. Surely, they wouldn’t have such high numbers. I looked at Susan Sarandon’s account. She has a million followers. I hate Susan Sarandon,” she quipped.
I immediately went home and followed @diane_keaton. How had I not already?? I’ve been following her Pinterest account, which is fabulous, for ages. (Go follow her now! Actually, finish reading, then go follow her.)
Diane Keaton at the AFI Life Achievement Award Gala Tribute To Diane Keaton held at the Dolby Theatre in Hollywood, USA on June 8, 2017
During the Q&A portion of the evening, a man stood up and asked Keaton to “describe attending the Oscars in three sentences.” I had to wonder if he had just listened to the same talk that I had. You don’t give Diane Keaton parameters like “three sentences.” You don’t ask her to tick boxes or color within the lines.
Partly because there was no mic in the audience and she had trouble hearing the question, and partly because I suspect she didn’t like the question, she said something like, “The Oscars are fun. Everybody goes. I won one once.”
The next question was about hats, and she was thrilled to answer. (Of course, she was wearing a fabulous one, and now my love of hats is reignited.)
On the question of fashion, she joked, “I think people like me should be almost entirely covered up,” then went on to talk about Karl Lagerfeld, famous for always being seen in high collars and gloves. “He got it right.”
Finally, she talked about women she admires—Meryl Streep, Jane Fonda, Phyllis Diller, Lisa Kudrow, Lena Dunham, Jessica Lange. I’m sure the list was longer. Those are the ones I can remember.
For all her years of acting, IRL, Diane Keaton doesn’t stick to the script. It’s as if her entire existence is a never-ending mixed media art project that she is continuously improvising, curating, and creating. Like all great art, the result is something multilayered with many interpretations.
In a 2015 conversation between Keaton and Emma Stone that appeared in Interview Magazine, Keaton commented, “I can think of nothing worse than telling a story all the way through, to an audience of people alive before me, sitting in a theater. To me, the fragments are the most exciting.”
She gave us an evening of beautiful fragments stitched together through memory and the occasional bit of song. It was easy to listen, and for those who did, much was revealed.
Seeing Diane Keaton has reignited my love of hats.